The Cost of the ’12 Days of Christmas’
Have you ever wondered what it would cost you if you bought every item in the '12 Days of Christmas”? Well according to The Christmas Price Index, which is published annually by PNC Wealth Management, it would cost you a whopping $107,000, which is up 6.1 percent over last year.
Check out a breakdown of the list below.
Partridge in a Pear Tree: $204.99 (Partridge: $15, Pear Tree: $189.99)
Talk to any South Dakota hunter and they can get you a pheasant much cheaper, as long as you don't mind stapling it to the tree.
Two Turtle Doves: $125
Three French Hens: $165
I can get a bucket of chicken at KFC for a lot less than that AND I don't have to pluck the darn things. Have you ever tried to catch a chicken? Ask Rocky, it ain't easy.
Four Calling Birds: $519.96
OK, there is some debate here as to exactly what a 'calling bird' is. Some argue it is a singing bird such as a canary. Others argue that it is actually 'colling' bird, which means black bird. For this, The Christmas Price Index went with canary. And let's face it, who is going to give a crow or raven as a present?
Five Gold Rings: $750
I am guessing if I give my wife five gold rings and they are only worth $750 total then I'm not gonna have a good Christmas. Especially if the gold rings aren't encrusted with diamonds, emeralds or some other precious stones.
Six Geese-a-Laying: $210
I've said it before and I will say it again: ask any decent South Dakota hunter and they will get you six geese a lot cheaper than that. But of course only if you want them 'a-laying' on your dinner table.
Seven Swans-a-Swimming: $7,000
Every time I hear this line of the song, I can't help but think about 'Father of the Bride' with Steve Martin. Haven't seen it? His daughter's wedding planner wanted swans too.
Eight Maids-a-Milking: $58
Holy Crap! These women need to unionize! Maybe they should call the Baker's Union over at Hostess. I think THEY have some time on their hands now.
Nine Ladies Dancing (Per Performance): $6,294
I could make a crass joke about paying less for a lap dance at the local strip club, but I will refrain, since this is a Christmas song.
Ten Lords-a-Leaping (Per Performance): $4,767
I think Michael Flatley is available for much less. What do you mean you've never heard of him? Of course, that's why you can probably get him for less than $4,767.
11 Pipers Piping (Per Performance): $2,562
Admit it, you would pay these guys more than $2,500 JUST TO GO AWAY. Unless of course they are playing 'Danny Boy' or 'Amazing Grace.'
12 Drummers Drumming (Per Performance): $2,776
I am betting that some modern rock drummers spend that kind of money on alcohol on a slow night. Just ask John Bonham. Wait, too soon?