No More Crying In Minnesota, Gopher State Grins From Ear To Ear
Crying has been outlawed in the state of Minnesota.
Oh, wait, wait, wait...no, no, no. It hasn't been outlawed. But there's going to be a lot less of it apparently.
Minnesota is getting tearless onions.
You heard that one right. Now Minnesotans from Beaver Creek to Baudet, from Mankato to Moorhead, from Leota to Lakefield can go ahead and slice that onion tear free.
Or maybe I should say...Sunion.
According to iheartsunions America's first tearless and sweet onion is available in Minnesota. It will be sold at what they are saying is 'select Walmart stores' in Minnesota.
They're calling it a breakthrough product, a game-changer. They go on to say that, no, these babies are not genetically modified and were grown through an all-natural cross-breeding program over the course of three decades. You can read all the details for yourself. Heck, they even give you recipes to try out once you have 'em.
So, no more of 'Why is Aunt Jessica balling over there in the kitchen?' while she slicing up an onion for those burgers on the grill. Now, she'll be whistling a happy tunes and showing those pearly whites, grinning from ear-to-ear.