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Gotta Have Me Some Elephant Dung Coffee

Elephant Dung Coffee
Photo by Paula Bronstein/Getty Images

In case you missed it, there was a news story last week about a new coffee being made in Northern Thailand from beans – pooped out of elephants.

Yup, you read right – coffee made out of beans that are first fed through the digestive track of an elephant.

I’m sorry, but I just can’t get over someone actually thinking making coffee out of elephant dung is a good idea.

It had to have gone down something like this…

A bunch of guys are standing around with nothing to do making chit-chat (like on the show “King of the Hill”) when all of the sudden one guy blurts out, “Bet none of you is brave enough to eat whatever that elephant over there poops out?”

And then, sure enough, one of the other guys says, “Oh yea, I’ll take that bet – and I’ll double dog dare you to join me.”

So the first guy then says, “You’re on.”

So then this group of guys spends the entire afternoon following this elephant around, waiting for it to poop out whatever it had for breakfast.

Once it finally “does its job”, the guys then run over to the steaming pile of poo, look down at it, and think to themselves, “What the heck were we thinking?”

Just then, the guy who originally brought up the bet idea speaks up and says, “You know, how about instead of us following through on our original bet, we instead come up with a better idea, one that could even make us rich?”

So then they stand by this big elephant pie and think about it for a while, when all of the sudden one guy hollers out, “I got it.  What we’ll do is pick out the whole beans out of the elephant pies and see if we can convince someone that it would make great coffee?  I hear those crazy Americans will drink just about anything.”

So then the rest of the guys chime in and say, “Great idea Harvey.  But we have to come up with a price.  How about we charge $500 a pound or $50 a cup?  That way those crazy Americans will think they’re getting something really special.”

And the rest, as they say is history – that, ladies and gentlemen is how elephant dung coffee came to be.

By the way, any idea when Starbucks will be getting in their next shipment of “Crapaccino” – I can hardly wait, I’m hooked on the stuff!



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