At some point in your life, sexually, you will hit a wall. Sex drive throughout your lifetime will peak and dip like Lady Gaga’s record sales.

Whether it’s just changes in your body or the relationship you’re in, it can occur and it will be confusing and probably frustrating. After all, how can it be that you invest so much time and energy into a strong and healthy relationship only to hit the brakes on fornication?

There are tons of factors that can put strain on your sex life, all of them are normal and none of them are fun. Here are a few reasons why your intimate time might be on hold.


We all know women can be complicated, and the same is true with their libidos and desires. A woman’s desire for and ability to have sex can change at the drop of a hat, and why that hat drops can be confusing, even for her.

There are a variety of stressors and factors that can affect a woman’s desire to be intimate. Family, finances, career, prescription drugs, confidence, health and more.
Working to identify and tackle those stressors can have a positive impact on your libido. Making sure you are well rested and hydrated will go a long way towards building a great foundation for sexual desire.

After that, talk to your doctor and see if your birth control or medication could be impacting your sex life.

Get plenty of exercise! Lack of exercise can contribute to health issues, depression, and a general lack of confidence.

Speaking of confidence, that can play a key role in a woman’s desire to perform, so keep it boosted! You are desirable, so think sexy! Keep sex in your mind. Wear something that makes you feel like a tigress, read a naughty book.

If you still can’t beat the rut, talk to your partner and doctor for more info.

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As for men, a decrease in libido can be a huge blow to their pride.

Societal stereotypes make it seem like men are supposed to have insatiable sexual appetites and want sex all of the time, so it can be confusing and strange for a man when he’s just not feeling up to it.

A decrease in libido for men can happen for a lot of the same reasons that it happens to women. Health factors, stress, family, finances, a decrease in testosterone, prescription meds, diet and more.

As recommended before, always talk to your doctor about possible side effects from medications or health issues.

If you suspect that a dip in your testosterone levels might be the culprit, there are medications to increase testosterone be it prescription or non-prescription. However, always speak to a health professional before making any medical changes.

Diet and exercise can affect your hormone levels, health, and general well-being so be sure to move frequently and eat more than chips and beer.

Any long term relationship is hard work, and with so much going on in our daily lives it’s no wonder sex can often be pushed back on the priorities list. Your brain is your largest sexual organ, but you (and it) have a lot of other responsibilities.

Stimulate the sexual side of your brain by communicating with your partner about your desires and needs. Bring in some literature if need be, books like The Big Fun Sexy Book by Lisa Rinna and Ian Kerner can make things playful and be an ice breaker.

Some other things that might help out are therapy, exercising together, introducing new things in bed, and even just taking some time to yourself.

Talk to your partner about anything you think might keep things fresh and relevant. Communication and general intimacy will go a long way towards rekindling that spark!

Don’t let it get you down if the sex stops. Scheduling a time to be intimate together may seem awkward or lacking spontaneity, but sometimes it’s what needs to be done.

Stay positive, make time for each other, and work on starting it again! Above all remember that even though the sex has stopped temporarily, your life together hasn’t. So go out and enjoy it.