Dr. Annette Bosworth’s criminal trial on 12 felony counts related to the signing and notarizing of her 2014 Republican U.S. Senate ballot petitions starts Wednesday afternoon. Here are the top seven things I can think of that will be more productive than watching the good doctor do a header off the judicial system.

  • 7

    Yell "Squirrel!" at My Dog

    While driving my poor cairn terrier Toto crazy serves no purpose other than my for my own devious entertainment, it is still a better use of my time than following the trial.

  • 6

    Go Watch an Actual Multi-vehicle Pileup

    That's what the trial will be, so I might as well see the real thing. That's a better use of my time than following the trial.

  • 5

    Check to See If There Are Any Motel Rooms in Pierre

    Team Bosworth threatened/promised/hallucinated that there would be hundreds of Bosworth supporters staying in Pierre for the trial this week. So far that doesn’t seem to be the case, but I might want to go fishing at Lake Oahe Friday, so maybe I’ll call around instead of following the trial.

  • 4

    Talk to the Bronze Former Governors Placed on the Capitol City’s Sidewalks

    While I’m on my way to go fishing at Oahe, in Pierre I’ll talk to the bronze former governors placed on the Capitol City’s sidewalks. I’ve always wanted to meet former Gov. Frank Farrar. I haven’t. But I can talk to his bronze visage in Pierre while he is posed in a purposeful stride. That would be more useful than following the Bosworth trial.

  • 3

    Listen to Hours of Old Bosworth News Conferences

    I could go back through my hours of audio of Bosworth’s many press conferences last year, just for old-time’s sake. Nah. Too painful. I’ve just gotten over PTSD from covering her during the Republican U.S. Senate primary last year.

  • 2

    Build My Own Crazy Train

    I could go downstairs into my basement and build my own crazy train from items I find laying about, like an old filing cabinet, a broken toaster, some tricycle wheels and a Betamax VCR. That would be more useful than following the Bosworth trial.

  • 1

    Go to a Real Mud Wrestling Match

    I could go to a mud wrestling match at a bar. I'd feel less dirty.