In news straight out of Hypocrisy Digest, Lindsay Lohan reportedly wanted to stage an intervention for Vikram Chatwal, her pal who was busted in a Miami airport last week with just about every imaginable illegal substance ever.

TMZ reports that Lohan, who always refuses rehab unless it's part of avoiding prison, attempted to plan an intervention with Chatwal's friends and loved ones at Chateau Marmont. (Because if there's anywhere people go to be sober and straight, it's Chateau Marmont.)

Chatwal owns the Dream Hotel in New York City, where he often let Lilo stay for free. Which is good, because chances are she couldn't have afforded to pay for her rooms anyway.

In any case, La Lohan felt indebted to Chatwal and wanted to see him get well, so she started outlining a plan to surprise Chatwal at Chateau Marmont with friends and loved ones back in 2012.

Lohan and Co. wanted Chatwal to get his partying under control ... but apparently they were all too busy partying themselves to follow through with it, because it never happened.

Maybe she was too busy trying to devise a driver's ed course, too.