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Zombie-Like Traits Found in Deer Could Signal the End of Humanity. Well, Maybe.

Deer offered drink from cup
Image Source Pink_Thinkstock

What could be alarming or gruesome about our furry forest friends – the deer? Well, for starters it could be licking it’s chops looking at you like a plate of ribs at your favorite BBQ joint. That’s ridiculous! Deer eat flowers, weeds, seeds, roots, bark, leaves, and other nature-grown morsels, right?

Not so much.

A new article found in Popular Science (one of my favorite publications) recently published the results of a study that proves deer have a carnivorous nature.

I’ll forewarn at this point that the following may be considered gruesome by some.

To get a better forensic understanding the decay process of the human body in a wooded area, officials in Texas put a human corpse – apparently someone who agreed to donate their body to science – in a forest to study the effects of time, weather, and animals had on the body.

Using a series of cameras, officials were alarmed to find deer had a taste for blood.

Great. Is it not enough to worry about small countries with growing nuclear capabilities, asteroids zinging past – or toward – our planet, global warming, and the long overdue super-volcano in Yellowstone? Now we’ve got zombie deer? Hey AMC, new spin-off idea: The Walking Deer.

In fact, the trail cam show one innocent looking whitetail walking around with a rib in it’s mouth “like a cigar.” You can see that photo hereLike a cigar?!? I’ll try not to remember this the next time I’m relaxing with a Sweet Jane in the Deadwood Tobacco Company.

The city of Sioux Falls have opened up controlled deer harvesting within city limits because, well, there’s too many of these varmints around. They’re destroying gardens, shrubs, and presents a hazard for drivers. My son and I witnessed one of the largest bucks we’ve ever seen bound right in front of our vehicle on 57th street not long ago.

We figured he was on his way to the B & G Milky Way which had just opened for the season.

The deer pictured above is probably thinking, “I’ll lick this cup and let you have a cute photo, but do you have any sweet n’ zesty sauce in your car?” I mean look at his eye!

Forensic scientists are stumped as to why these seemingly innocent deer are forgetting their herbivore ways and are evolving to make a snack of you and I. But until they figure this out, I would suggest that we get the upper hand and go on a venison run – soon. And don’t forget your vegan friends. They’re going to have to take one for the team.

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