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I’m amazed how many people have asked me over the past couple of weeks if Suzette and I are doing our “Furnace Contest” again this year with the neighbors.

It’s something we’ve done the past few years with one other couple in particular.  I won’t use their real names, but let’s just call them Rick and Donna.  The other neighbors around us, for some reason, don’t want to take part.  For the life of me, I can’t figure out why.

Truthfully, I can’t remember how this crazy competition even started.  What it basically amounts to is whoever turns on their furnace first loses.  The rules do, however, allow for the use of a fireplace and/or Eden Pure heater.  Other than that though, no other heat source is permitted.

And, at last check, neither couple has turned on their furnace – I know we haven’t.  That’s assuming Rick and Donna (again, made up names to protect the innocent) are telling the truth.  Well placed sources tell me the two have been “hanging out” a lot at other neighbor’s houses “visiting.”  They’ve also been spotted at the movie theater “warming up.”

Why they just don’t give up, I don’t know.  Being, as my Mom used to say, “A husky lad,” there’s no way they can defeat the great and mighty fluffy one – ME!

Oh yea, Suzette complains about being cold and can’t understand why she has to “pay the price,” but she also knows how important this competition is to me.  Whoever wins gets bragging rights for the entire next year and has to be referred as the “Great and Powerful Furnace Wizard.”

Now, before you write me off as being “crazy,” I’m not the only one “a half a bubble off.”  Since talking about this on the air, I’ve received a half dozen emails and calls from listeners saying they also have yet to turn on their heat.  Some refuse to do so before November 1st, others are admittedly cheap.

If, by chance, Rick and Donna (again made up names) should stumble across this posting, just give up already!  You don’t stand a chance.  You don’t think I drag this fat around during the hot, summer months for the heck of it, do you?  Of course not.  I maintain this “fighting weight” so I can bring you to your knees each and every fall!

Sincerely,

The Great and Powerful Furnace Wizard of 2011-12

 

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