Most days I wonder why I scroll through Twitter. I don't need to be told who is ruining our country, or where i should or shouldn't go to eat or shop. Most of my daily allotment of pointless rage is saved for the traffic on 26th Street around I-229. It's nobody's fault, it's just too many cars for what that area was designed for. That doesn't make it suck any less, or stop me from shouting at my windshield. But, anyways, by the time I'm seeing what's the haps on the tweet-box I'm pretty raged out.

I do follow a lot of comedians, so I do get tons of funny in my feed. And I follow several weather nerds and meteorologists;I know the forecast not just from the 605, but from Milwaukee to Austin I got covered.

Sign Up for the Our Newsletter

Enter your email to receive the latest news and information directly to your inbox!
  • Name*

However, a singular joy on Twitter. An oasis of entertainment combined and a towering hub of information is the feed from Argus911. If I hear sirens, I'm checking Argus911, if someone asks 'did you hear about the thing that happened?' I'm scrolling Argus911.

If you're not familiar, Argus911 is a Twitter feed where someone (who is a true local treasure) listens to the Sioux Falls police scanner and reports what they hear. Along with the reports of accidents, structure fires and loose cattle; a diamond will emerge from the rough. Like this:

So many questions.

What level of premeditation was involved in this drive-by tinkle? Was the person out for a Tuesday afternoon drive, chilling and enjoying the melting snow when a the urge hit? Was it perhaps in one of those neighbourhoods where there is no gas stations close-by? In the words of Wakko Warner, was this a potty emergency?

Was there something about the landscaping that made them choose that particular window well? Was it an old small one, or was it one of the newer, mandated egress windows?

Or was this a targeted act? How mad does one need to get to have reached the peepee point, but not so angry that they want to break stuff? Did they get back in the car all satisfied? Like, "that oughta show em."

Imagine the the amount of confidence this person has (or lack of self-awareness) to do something like that. In our modern world of nearly ubiquitous cameras and instant communication. During the day! I bet this person doesn't have to rehearse conversations before going to work. There's probably no anxiety about what their colleagues think or worrying about how to get that promotion. They just go for it in life.

This is practically one of those motivation posters in the making; in real life! Be like lemonade man and because around the corner success is made! Don't let self-doubt hold you back, park the car of life, get out and let loose a stream of prosperity!

Tony Robbins eat your heart out. (Which is a weird phrase, but let's not get into that now).

See Also: