Ask Olivia – Sharing Fantasies With Your Partner – You Won’t Know Until You Ask
Sometimes a good imagination is all you need to get the blood pumping and the juices flowing. Ever catch yourself fantasizing about sex and suddenly it’s all you want to do?
Fantasies are great for your sex drive. Whether it’s one of the more common fantasies such as threesomes, teacher/student scenes, light bondage or something a little bit more exotic - pretty much everyone has them.
Yes, that includes your significant other.
Maybe she’s always wanted to play that naughty nurse to your bedridden patient. Or maybe he’s always wanted to be the teacher that needs to punish a very naughty student. One thing is for sure though, you won’t know until you ask.
Asking about or sharing fantasies can seem scary or too personal at first. Especially since many people harbor fantasies that they feel ashamed of or guilty about. But they shouldn’t; we can’t help what turns us on. We just need to embrace it in a healthy fashion.
It is perfectly healthy and okay to have fantasies. They exercise the mind and feed your imagination. They give you a certain freedom too. In reality we face so many restrictions, but in fantasies those restrictions no longer apply. That’s the magic of fantasizing! Imagine what it could do if you were to share?
Sharing your fantasies with each other could potentially open some very fun doors. It can keep things fresh, new, and (hopefully) comfortable. You might even learn some interesting things about your partner that you never would have guessed on your own.
Sometimes fantasies are just ideas that get you going, but sometimes fantasies are something you’d like to try with your partner. Role playing can be very stimulating, and allows you to act out a role you wouldn’t normally engage in. It can be a great thing for your relationship to share and possibly try out some of the things floating around the ol’ noodle.
Sharing your fantasies can go a couple of ways, but you want to make sure you approach it very delicately. Blurting out “hey, I have fantasies about having a threesome” at lunch might not be the best way to approach things, unless one of your fantasies is getting dishes thrown at you. That could very well make them think they’re not good enough for you, and that’s not what you want to make them feel at all.
You want them to feel turned on and adventurous, and above all included and loved. So, picking the right time is incredibly important when it comes to spilling the naughty beans.
When is a good time you ask?
Well a good time to bring up the subject of fantasies would be when you’re at a good, stable place in your relationship. You both need to be on the same page, and you need to be sure you’re ready to hear some of their fantasies in return as well.
Now if you have just had a fight and haven’t worked it out it’s probably not a good idea to drop the fantasy bomb. And it would be a bomb, because it could cause an explosive reaction.
Also, if there is a lot of stress or tension in your life and/or relationship you should wait till things calm down a bit.
There are some quick guidelines to follow when it comes to fantasy sharing.
Make sure that what you’re going to share is safe and consensual. If you feel unsure about something, think on it.
Also, make sure you let them know that you don’t think your sex life sucks, just that it might be fun and interesting to try something different. Different is good! Touch down on the subject slowly and make sure that they absolutely know they’re still what and who you desire most.
Give them time to react, and encourage them to share their feelings and fantasies too if they’d like. Don’t get upset with them if they are not comfortable with sharing immediately, give them time.
Keep in mind that you’re asking them to keep an open mind about what you like, so keep an open mind about what they like.
Last but not least, absolutely do not judge them as a person for what they like. Some people have some pretty dark fantasies, but as long as they aren’t hurting anyone, that doesn’t make them a bad or sick person.
Other than that, as long as you’ve picked an appropriate time and place, you can go ahead and whisper all those dirty sweet nothings into each other’s ears, and maybe even bring them to life! Make your show and tell a little tell and show, and have fun with it.