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I Wanna Be a Bear When I Grow Up

Polar Bear

In this life I’m a woman.  In my next life, I’d like to come back as a bear.  When you’re a bear, you get to hibernate.  You do nothing but sleep for six months.  I could deal with that.

 

Before you hibernate, you’re supposed to eat yourself stupid.  I could deal with that.

 

When you’re a girl bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) while you’re sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute, cuddly cubs.  I could definitely deal with that.

 

If you’re a momma bear, everyone knows you mean business.  You swat anyone who bothers your cubs.  If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too.  I could deal with that.

 

If you’re a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling.  He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.

 

Yup, I wanna come back as a bear!

 

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