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Great Squirrel Story and Joke

Photo by Sam Greenwood/Getty Images

I saw a story in the news this morning that made me laugh.  Apparently, there’s been a squirrel population explosion in some parts of the country.  In Vermont, for example, the pesky little critters are gobbling up much of the fruit being grown in the area.  One farmer is quoted as saying, “He’s never seen anything like it.”  Researchers at South Carolina’s Clemson University are even experimenting with a birth control pill for squirrels.


The story made me think of a funny squirrel joke I recently heard…


In a little Western South Dakota town, the Lutheran, Methodist and Presbyterian churches were located one after the other along a beautiful tree-lined street.  Squirrels occupied the attics of all the churches, chewing up the insulation, cutting the wires and generally making a nuisance of themselves.


Nothing seemed to budge the bushy-tailed rodents, and in exasperation each congregation called a meeting to deal with the menace.


The Presbyterians met first but soon adjourned after an Elder pointed out that the squirrel invasion was preordained, and from a theological standpoint there was nothing they could do.


Next to meet were the Methodists.  A dear old soul pleaded with the congregation to handle the problem in the gentle spirit of John Wesley, so the church bought a bunch of humane traps and turned the squirrels loose at the edge of town.  By morning all the Methodist squirrels were back in their attic.


Finally the Lutherans convened their business meeting.  In short order the squirrels were voted into the membership of the church and now they only see them on Easter and Christmas!


…and I can get away with it because I’m Lutheran.

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