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Mexico Is Stealing All Our Celebrities, You Guys

Stacy Keibler Michael Phelps
Instagram

While some of us shiver in the cold through winter storms, the celebrities of the world are warm and toasty in the Mexican sun laughing at those of us who can’t afford to jet off to Cabo San Lucas to enjoy an extended holiday vacation.

At least that’s what we assume what they do while snacking on sushi rolls made of crisp hundred-dollar bills.

George Clooney and his girlfriend Stacy Keibler are currently at the celebrity hot spot with zillion-time Olympic gold medalist Michael Phelps, with whom Keibler teamed up for a game of beer pong on Dec. 30. According to her Instagram, they “dominated.”

Also there: Jennifer Aniston, who’s frolicking around in a bikini to prove her womb is still empty (despite the tabloids best efforts to fill it up) with fiance Justin Theroux and pals Emily Blunt, hubbie John Krasinski, Jimmy Fallon and his finacee Molly McNearney.

According to a witness who was dangling from their balcony on Dec. 27 to get the scoop, “They seemed to all be really good friends and comfortable around each other … They were there all afternoon until sunset, laughing and having great conversation.”

Justin Bieber, his newly-embellished (but still awful) tattoo and Selena Gomez have also been in Mexico, but Justin will be back in time to perform in Times Square for New Year’s Eve.

Shame. The drinking age in Mexico is 18, so they wouldn’t even have to pretend to sip sparkling non-alcoholic beverages at midnight. But even stateside they’ll throw a few adult beverages back anyway because dude, they’re rich and everyone knows laws are for The Poors.

Prospero año nuevo, Mexico. (And if you wanna keep some of those celebrities, feel free.)

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