This is an examination of a newly discovered and strange phenomena involving being drunk and annoying. Apparently in some places thanks to several very astute boozers and their filing of legal appeals the state of inebriation and the possible ensuing bad behavior is not against the law.

One of our superheroes of tipsiness, a Mr. Rod Morgan of Indiana, filed an appeal over his "drunk and annoying" public intoxication arrest and won. The premise of his appeal was that the legal statute in Indiana didn't define "annoying" and it was impossible to set an objective standard for what "annoying" means. The Indiana Court of Appeals judge's ruling erased that portion of the state's intoxication law to the delight of intemperate idiots everywhere.

Next we wend our way into the Florida middle school classroom of teacher Catherine Jones who was recently suspended without pay for being so bombed she could barely stand up. She was not arrested, but appealed her suspension and loss of pay and won, because what she did was not technically illegal in Florida. If she had hurt someone or damaged property, she could have been charged with child neglect or disorderly intoxication, but again, neither circumstance applied.

Hard to believe, eh? Believe me, I plan on stowing away this information and using it the next time I'm at Ben's house during another Superbowl party or other gathering. When and if I become tipsy and vexatious, I'll say, (in slightly slurred speech), "What are ya gonna do, have me arrested? First- -define annoying!"