When a restaurant wait staff person asks this question, "How are we today?" I wonder if that person has multiple personalities and isn't sure how they are doing and want me to answer for them, or if they are checking on the status of our relationship, as in "am I in trouble?"

I understand the question is meant to establish some type of bond which may mean a better tip. However, it turns me off.

Here are some tips to establish good feelings from me to you:

"Hi, I hope you are having a good day. How can I help you?"

"I'm (fill in your name). Thanks for being here today. Our special is (fill in the blank)"

"Welcome to (fill in blank). I'm (fill in blank). Coffee, tea, or (fill in the blank)"

I am not a curmudgeon. Your question "how are we" implies a relationship that doesn't exist. The question is generally used by people in a more intimate relationship either after a tense, or wonderful experience.

Your attempt to establish a comfort level is appreciated, but those words don't work for me.  Nothing personal.

Thanks for reading and I hope you have a good day!