A Cat's Diary

 

Day 183 of my captivity:

My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal.

The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture.

Tomorrow, I may eat another house plant.

Today, my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded.  Maybe I should try this at the top of the stairs.

In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair.  I must try this on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts.  They only cooed and condescended about what a good little kitty cat I was.

This is not working according to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices.  I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the event.  However, I could hear the noise and smell the food.

More important, I overheard that my confinement was due to my powers of inducing something called "allergies."  Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches.

The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return.  He is obviously a half-wit.

The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant.  He speaks with them regularly, and I am certain he reports my every move.  Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety his assured.  But I can wait.  It's only a matter of time.

 

-Author Unknown-